Friday, 8 April 2011

Medieval Musings

Top 10 reasons why I'd suffer an early death in medieval times (not the restaurant but the actual time period) --

10.  Would not respond well when summoned as "wench." 

9.   Would be unable to grow hair long enough to demonstrate my womanhood.  Frequent Shakespearean-style mishaps ensue (yes, I know Shakespeare is Elizabethan -- thanks).  

8.   Would be unable to function without daily hot showers.

7.   Would most definitely die during childbirth.  

6.   The pox would be upon me and fast.  I get every bug that infiltrates our bacteria-free zone.

5.   Would not possess elbow grease required for scullery maid-type labor.  Would surely be burned at the stake for my perceived impertinence/uselessness/heresy/leprosy.

4.  Would die of boredom unless I invent television, er, guess I would start with electricity.

3.  Would suffer immobilizing back strain after fighting off rats for last piece of bread in back alley.

2.  Would off myself if I had to share one room with my entire family.

1.   Would never survive the journey to Mount Doom.

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