Top 10 reasons why I'd suffer an early death in medieval times (not the restaurant but the actual time period) --
10. Would not respond well when summoned as "wench."
9. Would be unable to grow hair long enough to demonstrate my womanhood. Frequent Shakespearean-style mishaps ensue (yes, I know Shakespeare is Elizabethan -- thanks).
8. Would be unable to function without daily hot showers.
7. Would most definitely die during childbirth.
6. The pox would be upon me and fast. I get every bug that infiltrates our bacteria-free zone.
5. Would not possess elbow grease required for scullery maid-type labor. Would surely be burned at the stake for my perceived impertinence/uselessness/heresy/leprosy.
4. Would die of boredom unless I invent television, er, guess I would start with electricity.
3. Would suffer immobilizing back strain after fighting off rats for last piece of bread in back alley.
2. Would off myself if I had to share one room with my entire family.
1. Would never survive the journey to Mount Doom.